I was goin thru a pretty bad time. It is not very bad as in bad... Just that i dun tink im enjoyin mysef tat much for now. It a period of adapting and denials, if u noe wad i mean. (pls sae yes)
Im like juggling two different jobs and i dont noe why im werkin so hard. Ok, i do partly. hah.
It is just that im not comfortable with my jobs for some some reason that i dont noe if i can ever explain. In different ebnvironment im in, i feel tat i got to be a different person not exactly different, but it i just a different side. Im not really in a working mode seriously, i tink because i feel ive not enjoyed enough holidaes. Everytime, at the back of the mind is financial,skool, werk, future and wad so ever? There is no once i felt peace like '' ahh...tomwr will have a beautiful day'' ahh ok shit rubbish lah. Aniwaes, even with so much of hestitation and stuffs, i had to adapt with situation and get on with something cz i feel that i cant afford to be laid back. I miss skooling alot and have no idea how i can live without skool seriously as much i hate the assesment shit, tell me bout it. hah. Everywhere im jugglin, i have something to expect and something mor to be expected. I feel that something is missing out somewhere but i haf no idea what? i feel tat i miss home, family, friends. When im at home, i will be so tired and i haf no mood fer the kids ( sis) hah. I run out of things to say and to do with them. i god damn miss them somehow. I see my sketchbook and stuff, i got vision of what to do but no mood again and my frens been tryin to reach me but sometimes im too tired, so its like evrything is staring at me but all i do is not reacting but staring back at it and after too tired of staring, i'll dozz off. tats bad. In my school, we are encouraged and taught to expand our creativity. rite. One thing i haf learnt is to react to the things around to every single thing literally or not... like to every detail. You make wonders out of it and i believe so. but guess wad? am i like wasting my time of werkin my ass off when i learn but not do wad was thought? urgh. ok tat was preety random. i duno and im having very bad health like seriously. bad daes. sleeping disorders. little time fer mysef, frens, famili. syndromes. I have this urge to do sth like very badly. like one dae i feel like tokin very badly. one dae i feel like screaming badly. one dae i feel like being so rowdya nd angry. one dae i wan to do as much charity and stuffs. one dae i wan to have coffee with someone. haha. like omg neny. its reali an extreme peak wen i haf such syndromes. its irritating to me and ppl around me. i hope i din affect so much ppl. haha...

OK DAMN, 3.10AM.. werkin tomowr.. my syndrome for todae is blog, saying out my own paranoia and at least listen to other's paranoia like my own dearest sis who said tat i was once her nitemare and still is big time. haha.. how perfect siblings we can be... being each other's nitemare tat comes in season, a greater deal than GREAT SINGAPORE SALES. haha... ok shit rubbish again. yadayada.

GOODMORNING SHIT RUBBISH ME.